Interview of Cheche Lazaro with Bob Shroder at his home in California, USA.

Bob paano ka napunta dito sa Amerika?

Well ang father ko kasi is a Caucasian, my mother is a Filipina kaya by birth US citizen ako. Pero I stayed in the Philippines for the longest time. I didn’t migrate here until 32 years old na ko nung nagpunta ko dito e.

Yung tatay mo ba dito nakatira?

Sa Ohio, taga Ohio mga family ko, Shroder yah.

Oo nga noh, German name nga pala yun ano.

German. They live in Arcanum, Ohio. Parang it’s a small town, it’s a small German town sa Ohio and it’s nice para ding mga Pilipino, yung hospitality nila, and they still celebrate their German traditions, mga October Fest nila.

Nung pumunta ka ba dito, ano yung pakay mo? Mag-migrate o para makipag-reunion sa Tatay mo?

Both. Una para makipag-reunion sa Tatay ko because I haven’t seen him for years at tsaka yung mag relatives ko sa Ohio, my grandparents, yung mga cousins all that. So it was a big reunion pagdating ko rito.

Bakit sabi mo matagal mong hindi nakita, you mean to say hindi siya tumira sa Pilipinas?

Tumira siya sa Pilipinas pero for the longest time separated ang parents ko so nawalan kami ng communication. It was not  not until I was like in my mid-20’s naging excited na ako hanapin yung tatay ko mga ganun. We still have the address—

Ikwento mo nga sa akin yun, ano nangyari?

Kasi during that time, when my mother met my dad nagtatrabaho sa US military facility ang mother ko e. She was a cook sa Sangley point sa Cavite, that’s where they met. Then that time alam mo naman yung mga racial discrimination dito sa Amerika yung ganun. Then when I was born sa Pilipinas yung my Uncle was here in the US so maraming ano e, iba-ibang istorya. They dicouraged my mom, pag pumunta ka sa Amerika mga puti idi-dicourage– i aano ka idi-discriminate ka kawawa ka lang dun. My mom was so young then sabi nung mother ko dito muna kami ganun. Siyempre yung father ko was so young and Amerikano pag balik dito sa Amerika then he went out sa service na. So everything changed, nagbago yung buhay niya hanggang sa he met someone. Nakapag-asawa na rin dito sa Amerika, hanggang sa ganun, nalimutan na. The good thing is bago siya nag-asawa sa stepmother ko sinabi niya, I have a son in the Philippines and one of these days he will knock on my door and when that happens I will have a room available for my son in this house. Kaya that was like for twenty-five years that they were married.

Hindi na kayo, hindi kayo nawalan ng contact?

Nawalan for a period of time, wala kaming contact.

Wala?

A: Oo. Tapos ako busy na rin. Alam mo pag busy ka marami kang iniisip, hindi mo na rin naiintindihan, hindi mo na rin iniintindi minsan.

But was it in the back of your mind?

Of course yeah. Everyday, all the time. Pero minsan kasi parang nagiging secondary, pwede namang wala, ganun di ba pero it will come to a point sa buhay mo na iisipin mo e di ba teka muna may tatay ako.

E yung nanay mo hindi naman siya, hindi ka naman pre-nivent from doing that?

No. Actually she was always encouraging me. Kaya lang ako yung alam mo pag bata ka rin busy ka wala kang panahon. So kaya iyon nung ano sinabi ko sa mother ko I think I would like to you know search for my dad. Sige go for it. I have an Uncle na nandito sa States who used to work for a Congressman here sa Amerika, so sabi nung Uncle ko, binigyan ako ng advice. Write a letter to your father, send your picture, current picture, sabihin mo lang yung intention, they will send it to the Congressman. Hingi tayong tulong baka yung office ng Congressman makatulong. Seven months, seven months from the time na pinadala ko yung letter sa Congressman…

Sinong Congressman ang kinontak?

This is Congressman Duncan Hunter from San Diego. So he was the one..

Pero paano mo alam kung sinong Congressman ang papadalhan mo, maski sinong Congressman?

No because my Uncle used to work for that congressman but actually you can send it to any Congressman in the US. Just for the information for other Filipinos who you know are in the search.  Pinadala ko and then tuloy pa rin ang buhay sa Pilipinas, masaya ang buhay sa Pilipinas e di ba. Tugtugan, nasa orchestra ko, sa Symphony Orchestra tapos yun. After, then, I put my phone number pala, my phone number dun sa letter. Then after seven months, tumawag sa akin yung maid sa apartment sabi Kuya may tumawag dito e Amerikano english, Tatay mo raw siya. My goodness. Sabi ko nag-iwan ba ng phone number, oo kuya. Pag-uwi ko sa bahay tinawagan ko agad siya. For a moment, hello, I don’t know what to say, he doesn’t know what to say so yung ganun lang. Parang hindi ko alam kung iiyak ako o matutuwa ako alam mo yun di ba?

The US embassy adviced me na kung gusto mong, yes you are a US citizen, no question about that. But since you’re overaged and don’t have the paperwork and your father is not here, you need to provide us with some of the paper work make sure that you work on — your Father was stationed in the Philippines or your Father and Mother were together during that time. So kaya hiningi ko sa Father ko, I need your military records, I need the birth certificate of your children. After 1 week naka FedEx sa akin lahat nung papeles. He sent me everything kahit na pati yung marriage contract kahit hindi ko kailangan pinadala niya sa akin.

Teka muna balik tayo dun sa conversation. So there was a minute of silence or–

There was a minute of silence, I don’t know what to say ‘Hi.’ I don’t know if I’m going to call him dad or you know.

Anong sabi niya?

‘Hello Bobby?’ He called me Bobby. Sabi ko ‘yah.’ ‘So I got your letter.’ Sinabi niya sa akin I got your letter sabi niya ‘what do you need, what do you need from me?’

You could feel it?

So I started. ‘It’s good to hear from you.’ I don’t know what to say. I don’t even remember. But so anyway I started enumerating so I’m trying — ‘I would like to go to the United States, I would like to see you and see my other relatives over there and I inquired from the US embassy..’ Tapos nga yun sabi ko sabi nila that I have to prove to them, I have to submit paper works. So I need this, this and that so he sent me his paperwork. He was very emotional.

How was the reunion?

It was really good. But before the reunion, naka-FedEx sa akin yung ano di ba papeles.  So I brought it to the US embassy. Guess what? Pagdating ko sa US embassy sabi sa akin sa US embassy, ‘okay have your picture taken, fill up this form.’ Paglabas ko sa US embassy may US passport na ko and you know what ang advice nila sa akin go to Philippine immigration if you’re planning to stay in the Philippines for more than 30 days because you need to have ICRACR for you to be able to stay here longer. So I went to sa Intramuros, yung ating ano roon, immigration office so I did that so and then of course hindi naman ako pwedeng makaalis agad, I have a job sa Manila Chamber Orchestra that time tapos nagtuturo may mga ibang commitments ganun kaya sabi ko I gave it like 3 months. So then I called my dad sabi ko ‘I got everything settled’ and all that so he asked me ‘when you coming over?’

Excited siya?

Yes! This was like May so sabi ko sa kanya, July, July sabi ko I’ll be there in July 10 ganyan. So kaya yun excited na lahat.

May intention ka ba talagang manirahan na dito nung panahon na yun o wala?

Wala because masarap naman ang buhay ko sa Manila. Tumutugtog ako, I was with the orchestra, may mga recordings sa movie industry, sa Pop Music and all that. But you know something is missing because of my Father. Kaya I have to have my life complete di ba kaya ginawa ko yun. Pero hindi ako nag-resign agad sa orchestra, nag-sabbatical muna ko. Six months muna sabi ko 6 months and then I’ll renew that maybe up to one year then I’ll decide kung babalik ako o hindi. So yun 6 months punta ko sa Amerika, punta ko rito, punta ko sa Ohio pagdating ko sa Ohio, sa Dayton Ohio Airport so paglabas ko dun

Nininerbiyos ka?

Siyempre hindi mo alam di ba. Different culture, different people. Kahit na tatay ko yun he is still a stranger kasi ang tagal kaming hindi nagka —I was 5 years old nung last time na umalis siya sa Pilipinas.

Wala kang natatandaan?

Wala na ‘kong natatandaan masyado.

So first time mo rin sa Amerika?

First time ko rin sa Amerika. Sinalubong ako sa airport. Si Tummy, my youngest stepsister there , and my dad so I heard nung lumalabas ako I heard Tummy ‘there he is’ sabing ganun, ‘there he is.’

Bakit may picture ka sa kanila?

Yes, yung time na yun, between during the time mga April through July nung pumunta ko I’ve been sending pictures. Wala pang E-mail that time di ba. Mail ako ng pictures, I sent my dad a barong tagalog for him to wear. So yun–

How was it?

First thing that impressed me, kahit masikip yung barong tagalog, pagsalubong niya suot niya yung barong tagalog

Masikip?

Kahit masikip. I mean, just to show appreciation kasi alam niya yung kultura natin Pilipino di ba yung ganun he knows that. So ganun nga ‘there he is’ sabi ng sister ko so I gave him a hug in the airport, just a quiet hug I don’t know what happened around us that time basta it’s just — it’s very emotional you know. That point in time made my life complete. It’s like I went back to my childhood and all that.  So I stayed for a month. So we go out everyday, every morning. He used to manage the golf club sa town that time so we will go there early in the morning, we’ll have breakfast together and we’ll take a cart we’ll go around the golf course to check at the same time we’ll tell stories, exchange stories. And I ask a lot of questions like a little child and even my stepmother noticed that ‘how come he asks questions like that?’ And my dad said ‘that’s how it is right now because you know we’re catching up you have to understand that.’

Anong mga tinatanong mo?

Tinatanong ko ‘paano noon?’ ‘Can you explain bakit, paano yun nangyari?’ Paano yun, ‘what do you remember nung huli tayong nagkita?’ Yung mga ganun tinatanong ko sa kanya. ‘Anong last recollection mo sa akin nung nagkita tayo,’ may mga ganun.

Masakit ba?

No, no. It’s not really and the good thing is my mother, I think this is very, very important and I will really advice this to some parents. So yun, tinatanong ko sa kanya, I’m like a child you know. I’m 32 years old pero I ask questions like a child. ‘Pano tayo nun, pano monatatandaan yung last time na nagkahiwalay tayo, yung last time maybe last time you kissed me’ or something like that, last time you carried me. I asked questions like that so even my step mom who’s very, very nice to me, she asked, how come he asks questions like that. And my dad said of course because he wants to know, we’re catching up. So maybe yesterday he was seven years old, maybe today he was nine years old parang ganun. It’s serious questions ganun hanggang ma-catch up.  But anyway the good thing is my mother even though, alam mo sa Pilipinas merong mga taong mga negatibo yung dating kung minsan. ‘O yung tatay mo iniwan kayo’ blah, blah, ‘pag nakita mo ganito, singilin mo.’ Yung ganun di ba. But my mother not a single na sinabi sa akin ng nanay ko na siniraan yung tatay ko sa akin. I know they might be like shortcomings, the military services at that time mahirap e.  Mahirap mag-asawa ka ng foreign national e nung mga panahon na yun di ba. Kaya my mother tried to explain that to me. Ganito yung mga pangayyari hindi ganun kadali tapos dini-discourage din ako ng pamilya ko, ‘maayos naman ang buhay mo rito pupunta ka sa Amerika baka mamaya gawin ka lang ali-alila dun.’ Dahil minority ka, that time iba talaga e. Pero not a single word from my mom na siniraan ang tatay ko kaya really yung mga tao sa Pilipians, yung mag nakaka-experience ng not even yung separation minsan. No matter what kasi yung separation dalawang bagay yan e. Hindi naman pagkakamali ng isa lang yan e. I mean, we’re adults alam natin yung mga ganyan e. Hindi naman pagkakamali pagka-may pagkahiwalay, pareho e, parehong may shortcomings e di ba. Pero dapat yung bata hindi dapat fini-feed ng kahit anong — hindi dapat sinasali because may impact sa bata. That’s the good thing that I have because wala ako nun. Yun ang nakikita ko sa mga ibang bata. May impact gawa ng mga separation of different causes, ganun. So yun, dito sa Ohio, I stayed there for a month punta kami sa golf course eveday and my dad will bring me to his friends house around town. It’s a small town.  Pinapakilala ako and sometimes he joked them, remember my son. I don’t think we remember–

Magkamukha ba kayo?

Yes, yes, magkamukha. Meron akong picture diyan, magkamukha kami, oo.

At the beginning meron ding siyempre selosan, yung mga selosan sa mga kapatid ganun lalo na yung, my brother na for years siya yung the only son dun tapos here I am the big brother although alam nila from the beginning kasi nga  bago pa nag-asawa yung father ko alam na nung stepmother ko.

And what made you decide to stay here na?

Nung una ang hirap e kasi pag musician ka I was trying to apply for like position na sa Principal Flutist for Different Symphony Orchestra dito pero sa Orchestra naman meron lang silang tatlong flutists either magre-resign or magta-transfer pero it’s very hard to penetrate compared to if you’re a string player kung violinist ka merong mga sampu o labindalawang violonists sa isang section, another 12 sa isang section. Pero pag wind instrument ka one to one kaya very slim yung chances unless tiempo. So yung first three months ko rito mahirap kasi wala akong tugtog and I was trying to meet other musicians. Nagbabalak na ko pag walang nangyari uwi nalang ako balik-balik nalang. US citizen naman ako walang problema di ba. And then it come to a point that kinausap ako nung Auntie ko who’s an accountant sabi niya mahilig ka ba sa numero? Sabi ko oo music is Math sabi kong ganun madli lang—

Music is Math ba?

Reading notes is division sabi ko of course sabi ko mahilig ako. Sabi ‘gusto mong mag-payroll clerk sa trabaho’ sabi ko ‘sige.’ Pero in denial ako nung una parang masama sa loob ko. Sabi ko ‘ngayon lang ako magtatrabaho ng office hours na 8 hours a day’ yung ganun di ba. Pero little by little natatanggap ko na rin lalo na kung wala kang makitang tutuluyan. Pero I didn’t stop.  Tumutugtog pa rin ako meron akong at that time meron akong guitarist na kasama, tumutugtog kami minsan sa mga wedding, yung sa mga reception ganun, okay din may outlet din pag weekend. So I continued and then the company started the automation, computerization of the payroll in and the Human Resources System. I got involved sa transformation so I worked with different programmers and all that so I was the front-end person because I know the module, I know the payroll e. Yung processes. I got involved hanggang sa tinanong ako na naging mga kaibigan ko sabi mag-take ka ng you know mga basic progamming classes sa community college. I took some so yun and then pag balik ko next thing I know may mga ino-offer na classes ang company. I used to work for Monsanto Company, our hub is in St. Louis Missouri–

Dun ka muna?

A: Oo. Pinadala nila ko roon, mga twice or three times a year to take classes, we have our own univeristy, Monsanto University. So yun, quite more training and a lot of training sa Human Resources Module and Payroll Module. So kaya yun ang naging trabaho ko and then I started to enjoy sabi ko aba okay din pala para ding ano para kang nag-a-arrange din ng music kasi ginagawa mo yung design and then you work with like, I look at the programmers, developers like backstage people. Sila yung gumagawa nung mga bagay dun mga props. Ako yung tumitingin nun parang ako yung parang director di ba. At the same time, I joined the musician union, the American Federation of Musicians so nakakuha na rin ako, I met more musician sa mainstream so mas marami ng tugtog, mas marami na . Minsan tatawagan ako sa mga small time recording lang naman, mag sa-substitute kung minsan, minsan sa orchestra

So flute yung ano mo?

Flute, yeah flute.  So I decided hindi na ko uuwi sabi ko okay na. Then I bought a small condominuim, I used to live in San Diego.  So yun, I wrote a letter kay Professor Esmilla sa Manila Chamber Orchestra na i decided to stay here in the US. It’s been really a great pleasure working for the orchestra and you know a lot of learning. Yun ang maganda sa Pilipinas e kaya maraming yung iba di ba basta basta minamababa nalang yung pagka-Pilipino nila, no, marami tayong magagandang asset, magagandang trait sa Pilipinas na hindi natin, sometimes hindi mo nare-realize. Pag nagpunta ka rito marami ring magaganda rito sa Amerika pero marami rin tayong dinadala ritong magaganda na dapat i-keep natin and i-share natin sa mga tao rito, eto kami e, yung identity natin dapat ipakilala natin sa kanila

Ano yun Bob?

Kultura. Unang-una yung kultura natin. Yung creativity ng Pilipino, isa pa yun kasi unang-una balik tayo roon sa mga bata sa atin di ba kahit sa mga probinsiya yung mga laruan nila di ba meron tayong mga lata-lata ng gatas nilalagyan ng tali ganung step, creativity yun e di ba. Dito ang tao walang ganun, punta sa Toys R Us, andun ang ganda-ganda di ba pano pa mag-iisip ang bata   So yung mga ganoon, yung ang isang maganda sa atin e yung creativity ng tao, nadadala natin dito, yung kultura pa natin napakaganda di ba.

Pero sabi mo kanina kung minsan you know some Filipinos are ashamed of it o nilalalait-lait?

A: Yun nga e, merong henerasyon na ganun e pero I think nowadays nag-iiba na yun e iba na ang tingin ng Pilipino ngayon, we’re more proud as Filipinos kasi yung henerasyon hindi ko, hindi ko mapin-point saan talaga nanggaling maybe combination ng mga iba pang dahil handled tayo ng mga kastila, under ng mga Amerikano, yung mga ganun, maraming mga stereotype, maraming mga kolonyalismo kung minsan di  ba pero ngayon yung identity natin nag-i-improve na e yung talagang yung we’re proud being a Filipino—

Bakit siya nakabaon ng pagaktagal-tagal?

Kasi nga dati isang halimbawa ng thinking yung pagdating dun sa Amerika ang kaisipan laging Amerika maganda ito ganun. Kinakalimutan na yung pagka-Pilipno, ina-adapt na lahat kung ano yung nandito kahit mali kung minsan. Marami ring mali dito di ba kaya dapat magiging aware tayo pipiliin mo yung maganda rito kunin natin at yung maganda sa atin i-combine mo yun maganda yun e, pag pinagsama mo yung dalawang yun di ba magiging maganda and not only that ang malaking role doon as parents especially ang bata, sini-share natin sa mga bata.

Pa’no nangyari yung “FASO?”

Yung Filipino American Symphony Orchestra, nagsimula ito sa backyard ni Roger at ni Cora Oriel. Roger is the CEO of the Asian Journal, Filipino distributor dito sa California, Vegas and New Jersey. So nag-uusap lang sila sa backyard. I think they watched Lea Salonga perform with a 22-piece string orchestra sa Disney Hall. Tapos nakita nila yung orchestra mga Kano. Si Lito Cruz yung isang editor-in-chief ng Asian Journal sabi niya ‘pare bakit yung kay Lea Salonga ba’t  puro Amerikano? Wala ba tayong Filipino musicians dito bakit hindi tayo mag-umpisa ng Symphony Orchestra?’  So yun, so they called si Tito Andie na nagba— he was part of the Orchestra and then my friend si Lito Molina, si Botchok, barkada kami sa UP niyan e, ROTC, magka-batch kami niyan kaya dikit na dikit kami.

May tumawag sa akin e. Gusto raw niyang magtayo ng Symphony Orchestra, actually matagal ng dream namin yun e, mga ilan kaming musicians dito from Manila Symphony, Manila Chamber Orchestra, mga taga UP nung araw. Meron ilang nag-a-attempt pero puro drawing board, which is I cannot blame kasi it’s not an easy task to put together a symphony orchestra malaking ano yan e, malaking project yan so maraming nag-attempt na ganun drawing board kaya nung unang tawag sa akin sabi ko o drawing board na naman yan, alam ba nila kung ano sinasabi nila

Well sabi ko yung 20 members chamber orchestra na yun di ba. Sabi ko at least 45 members, disente na yun, okay na yun. Kaya ang goal ko noon pag naka-45 members okay na di ba. Pag kulang pa roon madali na marami naman akong kilala sa mainstream, mangumbida muna di ba habang wala. So ngayon sabi nila nag-iisip sila ganun-ganun, e pano. Sabi ko we need you know administration people who will handle all the businesses and stuffs, we need librarian para yung music copying and all that. Sabi ko may mga ganoon, maybe someone part-time job di ba.

Pero ang sinabi ko nalang sa kanila, I’ll be very affront of you kasi marami na ring kaming nakausap (inaudible) yung may ganitong project. Ang gusto ko lang isipin niyo first is yung long term project kasi kung gagawin nating –2 years gawin na nating pick up orchestra di ba wala pang samaan ng loob. Every gig tawag tayo ng musicians, ensayo dalawa, tatlong enasyo di ba pero if you want a real group na ganun let’s think more, pag-isipan nating mabuti. Pang matagalan, long term.  Isipin din natin yung this is the orchesta, meron tayong second level yung mga youth na mga Filipino na sila yung next batch yung ganun. May different levels e so pag-isipan nating mabuti para mas maganda yung style na ganun, resulta nung project. So ayun ang iniwanan ko sa kanila. Ang message ko sa kanila nun kung seryoso kayo, seryoso din kami di ba. Kung gusto niyo laro, laro tayo pero pag seryoso, seryoso tayo and I really admire Roger Oriel you know his support sa, dito sa orchestrang to talagang, talagang-talagang 100%, he’s very receptive ano bang kailangan natin kailangan ba may problema ba a miyembro and kahit hindi niya naintindihan yung music pero andun siya lagi. He stays on top sabihin mo lang sa akin kung ano yung kailangan mo, kasi as much as possible kung maa-afford natin gagawin natin. So ito second, this is the end of our season for this year.

Yung first time niyo ilan kayo?

60.

Sabi una nung first time kayo how many musicians?

Seven. When we first started, first rehearsal, seven musicians.  Meron mga ibang tao negatibo e, o nag-ensayo na pala kayo ilan kayo, pito, okay, telling that to yourself, symphony orchestra kayo.

Tapos sa susunod?

The good thing is we have Asian Journal who really helped the ad di ba. ‘Wanted Musicians,’ may internet and all that so every week. Of course word of mouth pa sa mga ibang miyembro ganun. So every week nadadagdagan, may tatlong bagong miyembro, so every week meron kaming introduction, we have three new members ganyan-ganyan introduce, tell something a little bit about yourself ganun. So hanggang sa one month, two months na kaming nag-i-ensayo tapos lumalago na twenty na, 30 na tapos I started thinking yung mga critical instrument tulad nung Trench One Player, Bassoon Player, Oboe Player, yun ang wala e, yung strings kumpleto na, brasses kumpleto na, may ilang woodwinds, walang Pilipino na locally available tumutugtog ng mga instrumentong yun. I tried to call colleagues sa Pilipinas, may kilala ba kayong Pinoy na nag-migrate dito na ganito yung instrumento baka hindi namin alam contact niya di ba, wala daw. So I started calling a few friends from the mainstream if they’re interested to join. Kaya meron aming ilang puti sa orchestra Oo. Yung trench One palyer namin yung dalawang puti, si Leo is Russian yung Oboe player namin, si Angie yung bassoonist is Korean ganun.

By and large Filipino?

95% Filipino, 95% Filipino.

Inakala mo bang makakabuo kayo ng 60 piece orchestra?

No, no. Sabi ko nga ang goal ko is 45. I’ll be happy at 45.

Ano yung naramdaman mo Bob nung first time na you let down your `baton at puro Pinoy, 95%?

So yung unang rehearsal palang sabi, iba yungh feel e pagka-pare-pareho kayon Pilipino for some reason.

Ano yun?

Merong ano, meron tayong, lalo na pag tumugtog ng ano yung mga romantic music when you express for some reason. Pag inanuhan mo pare-pareho yung interpretation e. Yung amazing na it’s very hard to explain sa layman’s word pero yun ang something unique with us Filipinos yung emotion natin. Kung tawagin nga natin yun it’s nanggagaling sa puso pero actually its’ coming from the brain e, the heart it just pumps blood di ba, sa brain talaga nag-aano yun e, dun talaga nag-je-generate ng emotion yun e pero pagkaminsan pag tinanong mo pag ano sabay-sabay yung (Q: Yung pasok) yung pasok kaya yung first rehearsal namin is like, everyone is like jeez, we were in tune, we were like this is not. we’re like, we’re already rehearsing for few times yung ganun agad yung feeling.

Sarap maging Pilipino.

Marasap of course. Talagang kung nandun ka dun sa rehearsal na yun kasi yun yung history di ba yun yung begi– kaya di ba may mga pictures kami, this is the beginning, we were all but seven of us. Kung saan man makarating ‘to after 25, 50 years, 100 years that picture, that very beginning, that November 4, 2008 will still remain the same picture, this is how it started.

O tapos?

A: Di ganun na, mga couple of rehearsals ganun pa rin, same tapos nung nagiging 12 na, 15 na, so medyo tumayo na ko sa gitna. Hanggang sa na-formalize na okay, you’ll be the conductor for the orchestra.  That time mga ano palang kami ng mga 18 piece palang kami, sa 18-20 piece. Meron na ilang woodwinds and brasses mostly strings.

That’s your training conducting is really your training

At a young age kasi my father, my mother’s from Kawit Cavite. Alam mo sa province maraming mga concert bands. My grandfather was a conductor of our community band sa Kawit and he was a member of the Philippine Constabulary Band with the Colonel Buenaventura and before that Colonel Walter Loving so they were, he was with that batch who went to San Francisco who joined International Exposition World’s Fair 1939. Yes. I still have his certificate.  I grew up that way with my grandfather.  Kaya bata pa ako sinasama niya ako sa mga engageemnt nung banda, fiesta you know, concert. Minsan nga nakaupo ako sa silya yung paa ko hindi pa nakasayad sa floor, I was that young.  And I remember my grandfather was so amazed because kung ano yung tinutugtog nila when we get home I sing it, I hum the melody–

So nung naging 60 at nung nag-concert kayo, tell me about that feeling Bob.

Before the concert, eto maganda e. So rehearsal, rehearsal di ba and you know how it is, it’s all voluntary, it’s all, you will never have 100% attendance sa ensayo laging kulang kasi minsan may mga appointment, may tugtog na iba yung ganun, the inaugural concert, we never had a 100% attendance sa rehearsal. Yung tech rehearsal na before the concert meron pang isang violin player na hindi naka-attend dahil walang tutugtog ng piano dun sa Church nga and he has to Ang na-100% attendance namin that concert itself. Wala namang sabit. Di ito na di pinakita na yung video ni Lito Cruz, yung making — a short video clip, so touching iba-iba, maganda and then so ganun na and then ‘please welcome the Filipino-American Symphony Orchestra’ e pagpasok nung miyembro nakita ng audince puro Pinoy di ba, first time sa Amerika, first time sa Amerika.

Ooh kilabot.

I was backstage. Di ko alam kung lumalabas na yung balahibo sa shirt ko. It’s very hard to explain but you know what I’m talking about right? So andun ako backstage hindi ko alam kung manlalamig ako, kung papawisan ako. It’s not only creating the orchestra pero there’s a lot of things behind it. Hindi lang yung basta tumutugtog ka diyan e, it’s not that e, yun lang yung front and instrument e di ba naipakita mo pero from the back scene mas marami ka pang kailangang gawin e so I just you know offer everything.

What happened when you entered the stage?

I was backstage waiting for my entrance call so I was praying thank God for giving this to me, why me but you know thank you so when I entered my first step yung light nag-ano na (Q: oo) parang all positive e. Yung parang nawala lahat everything is warm, ganun e, ganun yung dating. Then I walk straight to the podium and then hit the timpany, we play the Stars Spangled Banner then after that segment sa Lupang Hinirang, and then Lupang Hinirang after few measures ng Lupang Hinirang, this very few people were singing, so I face the audience and have them sing so everybody sang the Lupang Hinirang.
How did that feel?

Dun ako kinilabutan. Merong mag posting sa YouTube mga comments nila, Oh the Filipinos sounded like angels. I had an opportunity to introduce sinabi ko sa kanila na okay it’s a great opportunity —  who wrote the lyrics of Lupang Hinirang in Tagalog is Professor Felipe Padilla de Leon, he’s a national artist right  and then it’s a privilege to have one of his sons to be part of the orchestra, Tagumpay de Leon.

Ano ba yung nasa, ano ba yung, what is that feeling at that deep core of being a Filipino, what is it?

A: Kasi ang pagka-Pilipino ano yan e, napakalalim niyan e. Maganda yan pero kung minsan kasi ang nagiging kasiraan yung kombinasyon. Kaya minsan merong mga Pilipino na hindi sila proud of being Filipino kasi minsan nakikita yung mga negative — how things are being done sa Pilipinas. Yung nabalita mga corruption sa government na ganun kaya minsan hindi mo rin masisi nahihiya yung mga kababayan natin. Pero alam mo hindi dapat ano yun kahit saan ka pumunta hindi naman 100% solid na maganda lahat hindi ba? Pero ganun talaga e accept it ganun talaga may mga ganyan pero it doesn’t mean na masama kaming tao, it doesn’t mean na lahat ng mga Pilipno ganoon di ba.

Alam mo Bob isa pang pinagtatakahan ko or what I’m amazed at is yung ang Pilipino hindi ma-volunteer di ba? Simula’t sapul hindi naman tayo nagbo-volunteer, pag may call for volunteerism ayaw natin o nahihiya tayo pa’no mo nagawang nagbo-volunteer yung orchestra members mo na nagbibigay ng panahon para mag-rehearse, anong ginawa mo dun?

Ang experience ko was really good wala ka ng kailangang maraming sabihin lalong-lalo na sa mga bata na local dito. Nakikita nila agad na maganda ang ginagawa e. Pati nga yung mga mainstream musician nakita nila na maganda yung ginagawa natin e and one of the best is the way we treat musicians. Walang orchestra dito, community orchestra kahit professional orchestra na pagka-nag- break time kami, meryenda, pagka-

That’s so Filipino..

Yeah, that’s so Filipino. Then they all know like what’s tonight’s meryenda pansit.  Yung the way we treat people yung hospitality. Yun yung uniqueness na hindi nila makita so meron kaming mga mainstream musicians na tumutugtog sila sa mga maraming orchestra rin, community orchestras pero lumalapit sila sa akin, lumapalipt sa ibang members this orchestra is really something I mean we love, we really enjoy being part of this orchestra. Yun ang pruweba wala tayong kailangang sabihin sila yung nagsasalita e di ba. Kaya sinasabi ko lang sa kanila that’s how we’re suppose to be treated musicians.  Ang totoo niyan yun ang tunay na Pilipino.

Did your Dad ever get to see you conduct the FASO?

No. My dad passed away, 11 years ago. I was able to play for him when I migrated. I was able to play because I conducted some workshops when I was in Ohio. What I did there is we went to different schools then I conducted music workshops.

Anong sabi ng daddy mo nung tinugtugan mo siya?

He was in tears, he was in tears. He knows our family was musically inclined  in the Philippines and he knows I’m a flutist, professional flutist. Pero nung ano first, that was like a welcome party sa akin, so all the members of the family, my grandparents, my aunts, cousins, they were all there at my dad’s house —  pinatugtog nila ako of course they were can you play the Philippine National Anthem and then sabi ko we have to all stand

Pinatyo mo sila?

Oo because I started they were sitting. I stopped, we have to stand so they all stood up and I played. And you know  what I gave them? Because galing akong PIlipinas hindi ko alam kung ano ang ibibigay sa kanila, mga kamag-anak  ko. You know what it is, di ba sa atin pag pasko nagbibigay tayo ng mga pera sa bangko yung mga new bills. I have a  lot of five peso bills andun yung balcony ni Aguinaldo di ba. Kaya binigyan ko sila isa-isa, this town, this very  balcony is located in Kawit, the town where I was born so I gave them a souvenir na five peso.

Ba’t naiyak ang daddy mo?

Kasi ano e hindi niya ma-explain ang lagi niyang sinasabi I will never forgive myself you growing up without me around. Sinasabi niya pero sabi ko sa kanya, I’m here, I mean, I’m okay, I’m good. I mean I’m in one piece and at least I have a decent education and you know mom took care of me and we have always been thinking about you and you never did anything wrong. I understand what happened you know things like that happen and he really appreciate my mother also for being you know not feeding me any negative thoughts.

Did they ever see each other again?

No. But they were talking on the phone. I came here after a year, supposed to be six months but my mom was still working at the Manila Penn, she was the Chef at Manila Penn at that time. She waited for her retirement so she waited one year then she followed me. They were, they were like communicating–

But they never saw each other?

No because, I want them to see each other but I don’t want to offend my stepmother. So it’s like for delicadesa kung tawagin natin di ba.

So hindi mo na sila pinag-meet?

A: Hindi ko na pinagpilit pero they talked, nag-usap sila sa telepono. I don’t know kung anong pinag-usapan nila pero they ano, nagtatawagan sila on a regular basis that time.

Did your dad die of natural causes?

Meron siyang heart problem e tapos he can’t quit smoking e so kaya nag- emphysema. Tapos na-heart attack siya. After 18 months my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and then she passed kaya I lost both my parents within 18 months period.

May plano ka bang bumalik sa tin?

Plano it’s always there, yes because thre’s no place like home. Pilipinas is Pilipinas e.

O Pilipinas is home?

Pilipinas is home, Pilipinas ano ka ron e, yun yung talagang irreplaceable.

Was it difficult growing in the Philippines na mukha kang Amerikano tapos hindi ba yung—

Yes and no. Yes it is difficult because they, they discriminate you sometimes.

Ano yung discrimination?

Kasi iba yung itsura mo ganun. Sometimes they tease you. Minsan tawag sayo mistisong bangus kung ano ano mga sinasabi sayo pero on the positive side may a lot of advantages din kasi you know iba ka sa kanila meron kang ibang katangian kaysa sa karamihan. Minimal nangyari sa akin, tapos minsan punta ka sa ibang lugar medyo mestiso ka tatawagin ka hey Joe diba sa atin ganun.

When people ask you about your childhood in the Philippines, ano yung pumapasok agad sa isip mo?

Papasok agad sa isip ko yung experiences living in a small town tsaka yung music e. We’re a very musical family ano e from early morning sa bahay tumutugtog na yung stereo system nung araw hindi ba yung bahay na stereo system. Tumutugtog na yung bahay na classical music ganun yung upbringing ko, it’s a very classical music-oriented, kaya hindi katulad nung mga ibang bata na naglalaro agad sa kalye ganun yung sa akin it’s a little bit different e kasi nga iba yung kultura namin sa bahay being coming from you know a musical family.

You were not taught to play any instrument? Wala just—

Kusa. Walang pumilit sa akin. I told my grandfather I want to learn that, I want to learn that.

You what makes you think that you’re Filipino?

Because I am, I am a Filipino I can’t explain it in one, two, three hours. I am a Filipino that’s it.